Sunday, January 1, 2017

The Conquest of Ebright Azimuth

(Here is my slightly more serious list of actual meaningful high points.)

Dear readers, before your very eyes shall unfurl a tale of such danger, such daring, and such triumph, that will AMAZE YOU!

Heretofore unknown except in myth and ancient texts of dubious provenance, Ebright Azimuth - the highest point not just in Newcastle County but in all of Delaware - is pictured here.

There are those who think that our conquest of Mt. Davis, highest mountain in Pennsylvania, has filled us with hubris. Nonsense, we say! (Not to mention poppycock and hufflepuffery, which I will exclude from the present proceedings that we may preserve the virtues not just of ladies - but of gentlemen.) Below you can see (at top) the route preferred by less skilled explorers. But we not only assaulted the fortress of heaven at night, we pioneered a new route!

Above: the traditional routes up Ebright. Below: our innovative though admittedly risky approach. Never one to blanche in the face of danger, we forged on!

And the jagged soaring peak mounted by your blogger is - THE SAME. I blame you not for your disbelief, which is why we have captured the moment of elation as we stood in reverie of highest aerie, on this selfsame photographical plate.

We purchased supplies and victuals from a temple of the goose known to the locals as "Wawa", performing the required ritual ablutions. Then we set out and with the native guides we'd hired, we pushed ever upward into the merciless gale. They averted their gaze from the peak, speaking only in hushed tones as we crossed glaciers under the full moon, fearful of angering the spirits of wind and stone with their insolence. For man does not belong in these places, and I must admit when my eye would alight high up upon the terrible promontory of our final destination, I too would share an urge to hurl myself at the ground and grovel for my life, and I cannot entirely fault them for their superstitions. Though those from the villages on the plateau at the base of this range are surely of a hearty and hale race - for they must be - still, we lost three men to frostbite and hypoxia. Not without reason, for the air is so thin at the top you can see stars, and we had to duck when the international space station hurtled past.

Is there no corner of this world, no matter how foreboding, how inaccessible to man, safe from the penetrance of your bloggers' steely determination? NO I SAY!

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