Monday, October 29, 2018

Two More Jackoffs Running Across the Country



Since you're reading about long-distance running projects, I am morally obligated to include some sort of media, typically a lonely desert road. But this is better.

Lest you think me a hypocrite, I (sensibly) only ran across California and around the Bay, which is quite reasonable, but again I bring you knuckleheads who really take this thing to far. Some people!

This fellow is raising money for spinal injury research, started in Maine aiming for San Diego, and is already just about in Flagstaff. Now, I should point out that this is in fact an Englishman besmirching our fair land with such efforts. What nefarious motivations might he hold in his dark British heart? Surveillance to try to take back the colonies? Some sort of condescending anthropology expedition? Either way, one thing is certain: much like coyotes, when seen from a distance they seem harmless but as soon as they vocalize, you feel viscerally something is quite worrisome about them.

Yeah, and here's another numbskull, this one apparently homegrown. This speedy bastard ran from San Francisco to New York in 6 weeks. As if that wasn't bad enough, two months ago he started running from Alaska to Key West, and as I write he's already in Orlando! I mean come on.

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