Dr. Caton's Totally Serious Strength Training Advice

I normally write about running, not strength training, but there's one thing I'm all about, in life and training: balance. So here are some basic truths about resistance training, as I understand them from my life and strength coach, Tom C.


1) Too much, too soon, too fast, is the starting point of any serious training regimen. Look up an advanced training plan for whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, and then do just a little bit more. It won't be fun at first, but you'll get there eventually.

2) Is it okay to work out while sore? Let me rephrase this. Is it okay to work out while NOT sore? No. If working out doesn't hurt REAL BAD, you're wasting your time. There's no way around it: you can't get fit and healthy without being disabled and in pain.

3) If you're not overtraining, you're not training.

4) Always make lots of extreme changes at one time. Especially diet and exercise together. For example: right as you start strength training, switch from a high-carb to a zero-carb diet. You'll find that after your meals of raw tuna, if you clench your teeth tightly enough, you can usually keep yourself from vomiting. After all, if your body doesn't want to go along with it - then it deserves to be punished anyway.

5) Consider yoga. Again, it's important to balance.

6) Serious training is always and only motivated by spite. Only anger will help you, young Jedi: against yourself and the world. Let the hate flow through you!


Next time: child-rearing advice! And if you have any problems with this, hey, take it up with the UCLA School of Medicine.