Southern California March 2024

1. SANTA BARBARA

I'd never actually been to the mission there. The decoration in old California missions is really interesting (for my money the best one is San Miguel on the Central Coast.) We went because that's where Juana Maria, the inspiration for Island of the Blue Dolphins is buried. It was a Sunday so there was a mass going on.







The beach was nice as always (Hendry's this time), especially because apparently Barbie had parked there. Always good catching up with friends, one of whom is an expert on nonconsensual feline encounters.





I also bought an ostrich egg (sitting in coffee mug for scale) at an ostrich farm in the area, which I'm not naming because they charged me $50 (you can get them under $30 if you look around San Diego.) We ate at M and G's house later (thanks for making the omeletteS.) The amount of egg you see in the bowl was what still remained after 7 omelettes had already been made.





2. DISNEYLAND

You know what Disneyland looks like - scroll to the end for observations if you care. Much like distance running, what made it tolerable was pacing, mentally subdividing it into small pieces, and alcohol. Below you can see the Matterhorn ride looming above Disneyland, like a Mayan temple jutting through the jungle canopy.




Above and below: many a dazzling nighttime celebration is to be had. I'm amazed that Disney is open so late.




Above: I admit I kind of liked the effect at the aptly-named Blue Bayou, which looks out over the start of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Below: this reminds me of a quote by Kral Mrax, "Dyslexics of the world, untie!" If that jkoe offends you in any way, my sincerest alopogies.




Above: moonlight over one of the attractions (illumination is artificial. This is less Umberto Eco's hyperreality, and more the uncanny valley of nature scenes.) Below: I actually did unironically enjoy the light show, where video is projected into misty water; here you can see la Casita from Encanto.


Below, you can see three statues that are found in Mile Square Regional Park (I went there to visit the most literally-named park I've ever been in and it did not disappoint): thirteenth century Vietnamese general Tran Hung Dao, twentieth century American president Ronald Reagan, and twenty-first century philanthropist and playboy Anthony Stark. In all seriousness, Fountain Valley is loaded with great Vietnamese food, and driving through the area I pulled in no fewer than three Vietnamese AM stations.







3. SAN DIEGO

First, the required visit to Torrey Pines to hike down to the beach.


I hadn't been to Iron Mountain for years and since I just got some good beach runs in when I was in SD back in December, decided I wanted some more deserty experience. Ironically a rain storm was about to roll in, consistent with Socal's wet winter this year, which may explain why the ceanothus had erupted like I'd never seen it.













4. VASQUEZ ROCKS

A unique rock formation within the TMZ, it's used all the time in television and movies, most famously as the site of the Kirk vs. Gorn fight in Star Trek (though let's not forget the temporary deaths of Bill and Ted.) It's only about 15 minutes from the 5, near the top of the San Fernando Valley, and has a lot of little trails and areas that are fun for kids.







5. HOME

With the clouds over the hills, Sonoma County was doing its best impression of upland Maui.










ADDENDUM - NOTES ON DISNEYLAND

• You need to actually study and learn how the various passes work before you go, so do a real web search, don't just read this. It's not just walk up and buy a ticket like when I was a kid, which if this were a thinkpiece I would suggest is a microcosm of the complexity of modern American life or something. Also, prior to this visit I hadn't been there for 20 years so if you've been there more recently, you'll be surprised by the things that surprised me.
• People were nice, unfailingly so. Not just the staff, but the other guests. I was expecting a nightmare full of Karens and chest-bumping MAGAs from red states afraid of catching teh ghey from Californians, but everyone was super friendly and patient. So much for the death of American civility!
• That said, there was a higher proportion of Californians than I expected. I thought there would at least be more people from other states but of the people I talked to it was about one in ten. Lots of special deals to get locals in the park - like airlines, they will come down in price to keep "seats full". Very few foreign visitors.
• Food is mediocre. Duh. But they have alcohol in parts of the park now. This was new to me.
• Newer rides with an element of immersion have clearly designed their waiting areas to be part of the experience (Star Wars Smugglers Run, Guardians of the Galaxy.) At first I was mad about being tricked. But then I realized this is not like automation allowing specialist work to be devolved back to the originator (eg expense reports 25 years ago vs now), it's just being more entertained while you're waiting in line.
• I'm old and joyless so it's hard to not just see the underlying ride mechanic and ignore the theme as mere decoration even when the experiences are "immersive" (yes if it were metal, science fiction or psychiatry I would feel the same.) So if your soul has not died a slow and lonely death from neglect, you may have a different experience.
• The backdrop in Mickey's Toontown was neat. If you're used to California hills the illusion works pretty well.
• No matter how big an amusement park is, it feels limited. You constantly come around a corner and realize you've been there already. This may be wh inevitably I did start to get my "trapped" feeling, similar to what you might feel if you're stuck in a hotel right around Newark Airport for more than 24h (see end of this post.) In my case what made it worthwhile was seeing the kids react to everything. Which is why, no offense, I cannot begin to fathom why adults without children would ever go near it. The park is clearly aimed at younger kids so they don't need the Shityourpanzer world's highest fastest etc. coaster to get people there, and there is also not the mid-adolescent trouble-making vibe you often run into at amusement parks (partly also due to the cost I'm sure.)
• For this reason, I wish there were more costumed cast members wandering around the park. That's what makes it different from other amusement parks and that's why the little kids are there. Can this really be a significant cost? I can imagine there are many kids whose families only go for one day with their heart set on seeing eg Black Panther or Belle, and have to go home without because they weren't working that day.
• Rides on the Disneyland side break an amazing amount (not so much at California Adventure.) Of the ones we wanted to go on, at one point three broke in one day. You get lightning pass or Genie or whatever it's called for everything if that happens and you waited in line a long time, or you already had lightning pass, which makes it not so bad.